


Feel Something, Feel Everything.

by MerelyJamieMerelyWriting



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Aggression, Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Making Out, No cheating, Sexual Tension, garage scene reimagined
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 19:09:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10928166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerelyJamieMerelyWriting/pseuds/MerelyJamieMerelyWriting
Summary: "Then hit me," Clay quipped, throwing himself forward again into Tony's space. "Hit me or fucking kiss me but you're going to have to do one to stop the other."[My version of where the garage scene should have gone with the vibes Clay and Tony were clearly giving off.]





	Feel Something, Feel Everything.

**Author's Note:**

> The start of this is pretty super ocd level accurate to what happened in the show up until it swerves slightly as the shirt grab and veers entirely at the ice pack. Please enjoy :D

          Tony was in the back of the garage using the table saw. Brad had left about a half hour ago after an hour long fight with a cliffhanger ending and Tony was trying to work out some of his frustration. They'd been having a great time sharing some wine when Tony had laughingly relayed to Brad how Clay'd had no idea he was even gay and Brad had taken issue with the brightness of Tony's eyes when he talked about Clay.

          "Hey Tony!"

          Tony had rolled his eyes and tried to brush it off, because what a seriously weird thing to get hung up on, but Brad had been insistent. He was angry that Tony was spending so much time with Clay, and he trusted Clay even less now that he had just found out that Tony was gay because how could he have made a move if he thought Tony was straight. He'd said he wanted a break.

          "Tony!"

          Tony jumped at the sudden noise and tugged one of his ear plugs out, turning in the direction he thought he heard his name come from.

          "Yeah?" he called out, weaving around the heavy machinery and looking over the car to see Clay walking towards him.

          "Your dad said I could come find you," Clay said tensely, clarifying his presence in the garage but not his purpose as they came together in front of the car.

          Tony shifted the hunk of metal he'd been fucking with to his other hand and peered through his safety goggles critically. "You okay?"

          "I just talked to Justin about Jessica." Clay's voice was dark and tight with the kind of boundless uncontainable energy that came from feeling helpless. All Tony wanted to do was help Clay, but he was out of patience tonight after the fight with Brad.

          "Okay." Tony's body was moving before he could bring himself to break eye contact and he looked down after he put a few feet between them to try to summon up some semblence of patience. As soon as Tony looked away from him, Clay quickly strode after him to catch up, breathing heavily with his agitation.

          "How did everyo-how did you," Clay paused for a second and the word 'you' hung prominently in the air between them, because fuck everyone else. Tony was better than that. Tony didn't look back as Clay spoke, focusing intently on the cart where he was going to set the car part down.

          "Just listen to that and like, ignore it?"

          Tony pulled the safety glasses off his face and swung his head back up to look at Clay with an incredulous expression. "I don't think anyone ignored it Clay," Tony replied firmly, glancing back down to yank off his gloves and toss them on the cart.

          "Why is everyone protecting Bryce?" Clay demanded, sounding so lost and sad as he continued with, "Why are you?"

          Tony picked up a tool off the cart so that he had something to occupy his tipsy hands with as he swallowed the wave of self doubt the question elicited. His eyes snapped back to Clay's and stayed there as he stormed past him again and insisted, "I'm doing it for Hannah."

          "Fuck that, Tony!" Clay snapped, following him so closely Tony imagined he could almost feel the heat of his presence warming his back. "Fuck that! Jessica got raped!"

          Tony's stomach lurched at the word 'raped' as Clay spat it out into the cold air of the garage. He stopped and turned and just looked at Clay, eyes wide and full of emotion as he watched Clay lose it just a little without knowing what to do. He didn't know how to comfort Clay when everything he was saying was the truth.

          Tony swallowed hard and his eyes glanced down over the rest of Clay as he started ranting again. "And Justin's got her completely brainwashed, and everyone in school is covering it up."

          Tony looked back towards the tool chest and dropped his random tool into a drawer like that had been what he was coming over here for in the first place as Clay finished off with, "And that is beyond fucked up!"

          He slammed the drawer as he turned to face Clay again with his hands up in a frustrated but placating way. "Okay, you don't know the whole story yet," he said loudly, trying to force Clay to hear him through his anger.

          "What else do I need to know, Tony?" Clay exclaimed furiously. Tony was too tipsy and emotionally wrung out by Brad to deal with being yelled at by Clay so he busied himself with unzipping his worksuit and tried to look away. Clay ducked down slightly to catch Tony's eye again and Tony shrugged out of the top half of his coveralls as Clay kept shouting at him.

          "Hell, you're brainwashed too just like the rest of them but I'm not, okay?" Clay's voice echoed through the garage as he leaned in closer and got even louder. Tony just stared back at him, expression darkening as he tried not to get mad but Clay's words stung. "And I'm not gonna sit back and do nothing, like you and everyone else, including Hannah."

          "Okay, you need to calm down," Tony said as he tried again to break in and de-escalate the giant knot of emotion flying out of Clay before it exploded.

          "She just let everyone intimidate her over and over and over until she just disappeared," Clay finished and drew in a raggedy breath. Tony looked at Clay's perfect face, twisted in agony and impotent fury, and his heart broke a little as he tried to think of something to say. 

          "Well not me, no. I am not giving up," Clay continued after a beat and Tony looked down at Clay's chest, not wanting to look into his accusing eyes anymore.

          "You're upset," Tony began, reaching out slightly and hoping Clay would let him comfort him but Clay cut him off again.

          "You're fucking right I'm upset, why aren't you? Why isn't everybody?!" 

          Tony looked down again, feeling guilty again for having personally let Clay down even as he was pretty sure he was doing the right thing. Tony took a breath and looked back up at Clay with an open and calm expression. "Just take a breath, okay?"

          Tony went to walk past Clay, thinking maybe he'd grab Clay a beer from the fridge to chill out, but Clay turned with him and shoved him hard.

          "Fuck you Tony," Clay spat at him as he stumbled forward and Tony spun around to face him as he caught his balance. Tony's hands were limp at his sides as Clay advanced on him. Clay put both hands on his chest and shoved him again. "Fuck you!"

          Tony stumbled back a few more feet and his andrenaline spiked, sending blood rushing to his dick with an inconvenient burst of arousal. "What the fuck are you doing Clay?!"

          Clay didn't answer, he just shoved him back again twice. "Come on!"

          It clicked for Tony in that instant, that Clay wanted him to hit him. He was self destructing but, unbeknownst to him, he was in the safety of the one person who would never hurt him. Clay wrapped his fists up in Tony's thermal and hauled him closer, Tony glared back at him defiantly and covered Clay's hands with his own.

          "I'm not gonna fucking hit you Clay," Tony said tightly as he felt himself getting harder from the tension of the moment. He wasn't sure what was going to happen when Clay realized he wasn't going to get what he wanted from Tony but right now he was logging the feeling of Clay's hands holding him like this into the fantasy part of his brain.

          Clay laughed brokenly and shoved Tony away from him. "Fuck you."

          Tony followed him as he walked towards his bike and grabbed Clay's arm, not sure what he was going to do but knowing he couldn't let Clay leave right now or he'd hurt himself. "Clay, wait-"

          "No, Tony, leave me alone," he snapped, yanking his arm away and grabbing his bike to roll it out with him. Clay's bike stopped moving as the chain got stuck and Tony jumped out of the way as Clay rage hulked the bike across the garage, kicking the metal hard for good measure.

          Clay collapsed against the tool chest like a wounded animal and Tony watched him for a moment to be sure he'd really settled. He walked slowly over to the fridge and pulled an ice pack out of the top, taking it over to Clay and offering it to him cautiously. Clay looked back at him, eyes flickering over Tony's soft empathetic features, before he grabbed the hand holding the ice pack and pulled Tony into him.

          Tony lost his balance and tipped forward into Clay, catching himself with his palm flat against Clay's chest. He could feel Clay's heart racing hard through his tee and gave him a confused squint. "What are you doing?"

          Clay's other hand flew up and twisted into Tony's thin thermal. He yanked hard at the material and huffed in frustration when Tony didn't budge an inch.

          "Why wouldn't you just hit me?"

          Tony glanced down at the hand tugging at his shirt and then back up at Clay's face, taking in the way his eyes seemed to be shifting from devastated to furious and back again.

          Tony shook his head at Clay blankly, using his hand on Clay's chest to push him back down into the toolchest when he tried to lean up to Tony. "Because you're my friend, what the fuck are you-"

          Tony's voice choked off with a gasp as Clay's fingers released his thermal and tripped down his chest until they bumped against the top of the bottom half of his worksuit. Tony dropped the ice pack finally and yanked his wrist out of Clay's grasp so he could grab Clay's other hand in a vicegrip before it could slip into his clothes.

          "Clay, stop. What are you trying to do?" Tony demanded, a pleading note slipping into his voice. Clay reached for his face with the hand that had yanked him so close in the first place and Tony stood quickly, putting a few feet between them.

          "I don't know," Clay said in a raw exposed way that made Tony's eyes sting slightly, climbing to his feet and closing in on Tony quickly despite his small limp. "Just fucking hit me. I want to feel somethi-anything else Tony, this is too much!"

          "You're already hurting Clay, I'm not going to add to it. Just sit down, buddy." Tony walked backwards as Clay reached out towards him again, evading Clay's grabs until he bumped into a car. Tony grabbed Clay's wrists and glared at him, feeling a thrill of actual nerves in the pit of his stomach as he wrestled with Clay's upper half for a second before Clay realized his bottom half was totally unimpeded.

          "I'm not going to sit down," Clay grunted, twisting his hips closer to Tony despite his attempts to keep the space between them. Clay got close enough on his next squirm forward that Tony's hard cock poked against the front of Clay's thigh for an agonizingly slow second before Clay shifted slightly and pressed his leg forward along the side of the stiffness he'd found.

          The was a tense moment where neither boy breathed before Clay whispered, cheeks brightening to a mild crimson as Tony just stared back at him with blown pupils, "You don't feel like you want me to sit down, are you sure?"

          Tony shoved Clay then, hard. Clay stumbled a few feet back and looked back at him with a reckless grin. "I have a boyfriend tu jodido sueño hecho realidad. I'm positive."

          "Then hit me," Clay quipped, throwing himself forward again into Tony's space. "Hit me or fucking kiss me but you're going to have to do one to stop the other."

          Tony's eyebrows drew together in confusion. Maybe he was drunk. Maybe he'd passed out somehow. His dad had always told him that he shouldn't touch the saw when he was drinking, maybe he was dead. Clay's thigh brushed against the front of his coveralls and Tony spun them around to press Clay back against the car and away from him. A leg hooked out and around his knee though and Tony lost his balance, falling forward into Clay.

          "Fuck," Tony yelped, dick caught awkwardly between them for a second before Clay shifted to the left an inch and it slid along Clay's inner thigh as their hips slotted together fully.

          "Fuck indeed," Clay whispered, leaning in and trying to catch Tony's lips with his.

          "Clay, you don't know what you're-" Tony began, trying to pull away even as Clay's heel tightened against the back of his leg.

          "I know what I'm doing-"

          Tony's eyes widened as he realized Clay's cock was hard and pressed hotly against him where it was restricted in Clay's jeans and he whimpered softly as he clenched his jaw tightly.

          "Clay, I can't- Brad will-"

          "Fuck Brad, Tony," Clay snapped at him, slowly rotating his hips against Tony and keeping eye contact as he repeated, "Fuck Brad."

          "Fuck Brad?" Tony laughed, giving him the angriest look he could muster up. "Fuck you."

          Clay bit his lip softly and glanced down at their hips blatantly as he writhed against him. "I think that's the general idea, yeah?"

          The words hung in the air between them for a heartbeat as Tony's brain turned itself off and he groaned as he let himself rut forward just once. His hands pressed down between them and popped the button on Clay's jeans before he remembered that he wasn't letting himself do this.

          He grabbed Clay's hips in a bruising grip and slammed them back against the car, taking a step away and spinning Clay to yank his pants down past his ass. He reached around the front and wrapped his fingers around Clay's hard cock. Tony let a breathy sigh out carefully as he tried to memorize this moment and forget it all at once.

          "Tony," Clay cried out, bucking into the hand on his cock and gasping for air. "Please, fuck, I want you."

          "Yeah, maldito cóctel?" Tony growled, shimmying the coveralls down and pressing his boxerclad erection against Clay's ass. "I haven't even fucked Brad yet, what exactly makes you think you deserve this?"

          "I've noticed how you look at me, now that I know," Clay panted, moving back against Tony eagerly as he continued. "C'mon, you want me. Admit it!"

          "So what," Tony grunted, dragging his fingers up along Clay's cock and pulling the skin up over the head before tugging his grip back down. "That doesn't mean you deserve-"

          "Maybe it's you Tony. Maybe you deserve this." With that Clay twisted his head back and pressed their lips together briefly. Tony made a decision as the shock of Clay's lips against his shot through him and stepped back abruptly, grabbing a small packet from his discarded coveralls. Tony towed him around to the front of the car to yank his underwear off and lift him onto the hood.

          "Shut up," Tony forced through gritted teeth. "Are you sure?"

          Clay nodded, cock jutting proudly and obscenely out in front of him. "What about-"

          "I dare you to fucking say his name and see what happens," Tony snarled into Clay's face.

          "Brad," Clay breathed and Tony crashed their lips together, more teeth and anger than anything else at first.

          "Shut the fuck up," he said into Clay's mouth. "I only want to hear my name and swear words from now on unless you want me to stop everything and leave you be for the night.

          "Fuck, Tony," Clay moaned back. He hadn't been sure before he'd gotten to this moment. He'd had passing thoughts in the limited time it had been since Tony had told him he was gay and said 'sure' in such an ambiguous manner, but they'd been vague and formless in a way that this definitely wasn't.

          Tony was solid like nothing else in Clay's life was, he was there and no matter how hard Clay pushed him he wasn't going anywhere. Clay wanted Tony to climb inside him or maybe he wanted to climb inside of him, all he knew was that he wanted to be closer to Tony and he didn't know exactly how to do that.

          Tony couldn't believe this was really happening. He paused awkwardly and looked up at Clay with concerned eyes suddenly. "I'm a little drunk on wine, did you want anything? I feel like you're taking advantage of me if you're sober and I'm not. I have joints, beer, a quarter bottle of wine left..."

          Laughter bubbled up in Clay's chest. "Really? I think I have whiplash, you changed gears that fast?"

          Tony ducked his head and glanced towards the mini fridge. "Well?"

          "Joint," Clay said, amusement in his voice for the first time that night. Tony fought the giddy thrill in his chest by telling himself the swell of guilt was stronger, he knew it was just a hopeless lie. He walked over to the table quickly and grabbed a jar, tipping out a joint and grabbing his phone while he lit it.

          Tony took the first hit while he texted Brad quickly, passing it over to Clay.

 **Tony's Cell[10:47 PM]** You wanted to take a break, you got it. We're officially on pause.

          He ripped open the little pouch of lube and tipped Clay back on the hood again, leaning in and hooking his legs over his shoulders. He licked the underside of Clay's cock as he reached forward and busied himself with slipping a slick finger into the tight entrance.

          Clay coughed on an exhale and clenched around the intrusion sporadically and pulled a face.

          "Okay?" Tony asked softly, lips pressed against the head as he looked up at Clay and teased the tip of a second finger against the resistance.

          "Yeah, don't stop," Clay breathed out, looking into Tony's eyes with a dark lust soaked gaze. Tony maintained eye-contact and pressed a second finger in, adding a bit of lube to the tight fit as Clay whined around the joint caught between his lips. Tony pulled himself out of the front of his boxers and gave himself a few strokes as he sucked Clay between his lips, swallowing around it and feeling like his whole body was on fire.

          The next few minutes flew by in a blur of sucking, moaning, and stretching and Tony was slicking himself up before he felt like almost any time had passed at all. Clay flicked the burning end of the blunt away from him just before it burned him and Tony surged up to kiss him as he lined up to press against the wet stretched hole.

          Clay wrapped his legs around Tony's waist and pulled him forward sharply. The head of his cock slipped past the still tight ring of muscle in one smooth push and Clay gasped, eyes widening at the weird sensation. It was so much bigger feeling than a few fingers but it also didn't quite hurt. Overwhelming was a better word.

          "Fuck, Clay, let me- Mierda, you'll hurt yourself!" Tony babbled, trying not to move or cum or spontaneously combust from arousal.

          "Then move," Clay demanded, licking his way back into Tony's mouth eagerly. "I want to feel you, you're amazing."

          "Fuck Clay," Tony bit out, edging forward steadily until his hips were pressed into Clay's asscheeks and Clay was keening into his shoulder. "This is- No sabía que se sentiría así. You're so tight, are you sure it's-"

          "Perfect," Clay groaned, interrupting the question and shifting his hips insistently when Tony didn't start moving. "C'mon, I need you."

          Tony pulled out carefully and pressed back in, trying to control himself and shaking with the effort. Clay threaded his fingers into Tony's hair and yanked him to his mouth as Tony grabbed for Clay's cock, pulling out and slamming back in again this time.

          Clay moaned loudly into their kiss as Tony slammed into something inside him that made fireworks burst on the inside of his eyelids. "H-harder," Clay stammered, biting into Tony's bottom lip. "Give it to me, wanna feel you-"

          "Fucking shut your filthy mouth or I'm going to-"

          Clay bit his way up Tony's jaw, nipping a little too hard every once in a while as he rushed to his ear to nibble at his earlobe.

          "Go ahead," Clay murmured, fingers scratching up Tony's back sharply. "I'm so fucking close Tony, I wanna feel you, please!"

          Tony bit into Clay's neck and came hard, sucking a mark into the flesh where he was pretty sure it would be seen tomorrow as he jerked Clay off between them. Tony stayed with his hips pressed against Clay's ass while he twitched inside him with the aftershocks of his orgasm. 

          Clay tightened around him as his orgasm rushed through him like a tidal wave. As he came he felt all his stress from the day, the last two weeks even, melt away. Tony pulled out gingerly, wincing at how sensitive he was.

          "That was-"

          Clay cut Tony off with a gentler kiss than they'd shared so far.

          "Everything," Clay said simply.

          "God, you fuckin' sap," Tony said, laughing brightly as a smile broke across his face.

          Clay turned red and leaned in to nuzzle his face into Tony's shoulder. "Yeah, whatever. Jerk."

          "Wanna spend the night?" Tony asked, kissing down the side of Clay's neck absently as he waited for the answer.

          "Definitely," Clay said, lifting his head to regain eye contact and grinning at Tony.

          "Alright," Tony responded after kissing him again. He stepped back and reached out a hand to help Clay off the car then tossed him his pants as he tugged his on quickly. "Let's go mi alma."

          Clay's eyebrows drew together in adorable confusion as Tony grabbed his hand and towed him towards the exit to the garage. "What's 'mi alma' mean?"

          Tony paused, not having realized he'd said that until Clay was questioning him, and glanced back at him. Tony's cheeks flushed before he turned away again. "Nothing, come on."

          "Tony-"

          "My soul, okay? I didn't," Tony broke off awkwardly and looked away. "It's kind of a pet name in Spanish, I didn't realize it slipped out there. It doesn't have to-"

          "I like it," Clay said, stepping closer and squeezing Tony's hand reassuringly. "Mi alma, is that right?"

          Tony shook his head, softly stunned by the words as they tumbled easily out of Clay's lips. He nodded and kissed him, pressing his forehead to Clay's and wrapping him in his arms. "It's perfect. You're perfect, let's go mi alma."

          "I'd go anywhere with you," Clay said, slipping a hand into Tony's back pocket to cup his ass. "Keep me safe?"

          "Always," Tony replied as they reached the exit to the garage. "No matter what, I promise."

          Clay smiled, snagging his backpack as they passed it and realizing that, with his hand in Tony's, it didn't feel nearly as weighted down by the tapes that had been ripping him apart lately. Clay felt something new as they left the garage behind them. He felt hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think! I think this is my favorite brainchild so far and I can't wait to see if you guys like it :)


End file.
